Middle Of Your Heart

It's been one of those weeks. It just kept building up until I exploded. Yes, that's right, I had a meltdown. Level of meltdown: Academy Award. I won't go into all the messy details, but I can tell you it ended with me clutching my pillow and sobbing. It had been coming on slowly. The poison of discontent. It changes my entire outlook and it affects how I treat others. Especially, my family. Little jabs and outbursts become frequent; and it just gets worse and worse until I'm miserable (and so is my family). It completely overwhelms me. Next thing I know, I'm not reading my Bible; not spending anytime with Jesus; distancing myself from my family; complaining both inwardly and outwardly about my life; and I'm angry all the time. In those moments, I cannot see anything good. I hate it. Yet, I let it happen. I allow the enemy, Satan, to tell me lies. Lies that I sometimes believe. But that is exactly what they are. Lies. Meant to make me feel utterly helpless and alone. 

I have so many moments where I feel like life is spinning out of control. And, I'm pretty positive, I will have more moments in the future. Moments where I desperately desire something more. Moments where I feel my life is a waste and I don't really have anywhere I "fit". I think everyone has had those thoughts. 
But they can be overcome. 

The answer? 

Jesus.

There is no psychological analysis or 10-step program to contentment. The only thing that will ever truly make me content is Jesus Christ. Instead of dwelling on myself, I should ask God to give me a deep desire to know Him better. The more I am actively seeking God, the less I believe the lies of Satan. I am ashamed of how easily I can stop listening to my Savior and His truths. Giving my burdens to Him is blessed relief. 
After all, He knows what to do with them! 

From my own experience, it's very easy to become discontent and bitter. I must make a conscious choice to give these feelings and thoughts over to God and let Him destroy them. Because if I don't, they will destroy me. I know the type of person I am when these thoughts plague my mind; and I don't like that person. Christ is alway speaking; always showing me the right way. Thankfully, He never gives up on me! 
I need that kind of persistence. One thing I know for sure is that God is doing amazing things in my heart. I just have to let Him do it. It's exciting to think that as I grow closer to Jesus, I will have the privilege of experiencing the joy, fulfillment and contentment that only comes from Him. And what a wonderful gift that will be!   

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Psalm 34:17-20

Cross Contamination Vlog

Hey everyone! This is a video about being aware of Cross Contamination and how to avoid it. Hope you enjoy!

Gluten-Free "Yummy Apple, Yummy Pie" Recipe

I have been craving pie for months(thanks to Ned the Pie Maker from Pushing Daisies). But, with my limited amount of food, that has not been able to happen. At least not until recently! This lovely pie is gluten free, dairy free and sugar free! So without further ado, here is my recipe!

Gluten-Free "Yummy Apple, Yummy Pie" Recipe

Two boxes of Chebe Cinnamon Roll Mix

4 eggs

6 tbs of olive or coconut oil

1/4 cup water

5 apples

1/2 coconut sugar or 1/3 cup honey 

1 tsp cinnamon powder

Use two boxes of Chebe Cinnamon Roll Mix. Prepare as directed minus the filling part.
Take half of the dough, cover your pie dish and prick with a fork.

Peel and thinly slice five apples. 

Place in sauce pan, cover with water and cook on low heat until par boiled. Drain the liquid, let cool and place the apples into a mixing bowl. Add 1/2 cup of honey or sweetener of your choice and 1 tsp cinnamon powder or as much as you want. 

 Pour apple filling into pie dish. Take the other half of dough, roll it out, cut into stripes, place onto pie and prick with a fork. 

Place in the over at 350° for 25-30 minutes.

Take out of oven, let sit until completely cooled and voila!

 I hope you enjoy this pie as much as I do!

This Pain Is A Part

This Pain Is A Part

To be thankful for my life can seem impossible.

To be grateful for what I have can be far from my mind. 

The struggle of every day, every hour, weighs me down like an anchor 

and I feel like I am drowning.

Tired and worn, I lie awake at night. 

Sleep hardly comes, and when it does, I’m still weary.

I feel so alone sometimes, but when I’m in a crowd, I stand to the side.

I hate that I don’t even act like myself, as if this "disease" can control me.

Will it always be like this?

 In my despair, I think it will.

Time keeps moving forward, but I’m stuck in one place. 

I’m not afraid of never doing anything, but I’m afraid of when it will be.

Years I can never get back are flying by without me; 

years of unfulfilled dreams and adventures that might have been.

“My health has not permitted me” is a phrase that I know well.

I ache to have a purpose, somewhere where I belong.

To have something to talk about instead of all that is wrong.

Yet, in the midst of all this misery, one thing I can claim. 

I can boast in my Jesus and all that He is!

He has given me blessings in spite of the hurt.

And because of the sorrow, I’m more aware of the good.

I see Him more clearly, than if my life was going as I had planned.

Trials have taught me that being a Christian does not mean life is easy. 

Hardship reminds me that Jesus is there, ready to give strength when I need it, 

and comfort in bad times. 

When I’m frustrated and angry at life, He is there telling me,

“Why are you trying to bear this alone? 

Cast your cares on Me. I care about you.” 

I know that He has a plan for my life, even if it is hard to see.

This pain is a part; and each day is one day closer to something new.

I don’t want to be bitter about my situation. 

Yes, it is hard, but what good is it if I resent everything? 

When I’m so busy thinking about what He has not given me, I lose sight of what He has. 

God is not keeping contentment or comfort from me; 

I keep it from myself by not trusting Him with my life.

 So, I am thankful for my life, even though it might not be what I want.

I’m grateful for my life because I have Jesus to lean on always. 

And because of that, I know I can remain strong.

         Rachael Lydia Allison, July 10 2013

Creation Sings the Fathers Song

       I have always tried to see the beauty in things. It can be a fun challenge for me to try and see what is pretty about a unconventional object. And usually, if you look, you can find it. (Although, I still don't see the beauty in clowns)... but that might just be me!  I got a new camera and I am really excited! Photography is such a fun hobby. I love that I can look around me, see something of interest, and capture it. A sunset or rainbow that you thought were so stunning and reminded you of the artistry of God; you can now share with everyone else! (Whether they want to see it or not.) LOL. Photography is one of those things that make you even more aware of your surroundings. I find myself being completely enthralled by the most random stuff sometimes. I will be walking down the road and next thing you know, I'm talking about how pretty the pavement is. And don't even get me started on the sky! I could go on forever about how much I love the sky. And lakes. and beaches. And mountains. And hills. And oceans. And deserts. And cities. And landscapes. And space. Okay, I'll stop! The point is that there is beauty everywhere made by the most talented artist ever. God. Just think about it. He made everything! I sometimes can barely come up with a good idea for lunch, let alone create an entire universe. Everything around us points to the workmanship of God. I cannot look at creation, see how all things have a purpose, even an ant, and believe that it doesn't have a creator. 

I love to see new places and experience beauty that I haven't before. Every once in while, I like to go for a walk or just sit and stare at God's creation. It's moments like those that make me almost giddy. I contemplate about how it is all made by my Savior and how amazing He is. Everything in existence was made to proclaim the wonder of God; for us to enjoy it; and to recognize the greatness of our God. I think that God wants us to discover His creation. To see the wonder of it all. When was the last time you stopped and looked around you? You will never see the beauty if you don't take the time to look. 

Sometimes, when things are not going exactly my way, I can look at the sky or a flower and think "Wow, thank You Lord, for showing me that there is still bright and beautiful things". Of course, I have to have the right attitude for that to work. On a few occasions, I am more of a thundercloud than a ray of sunshine. On those days, maybe it's usually best for me to get my attitude right before I try and enjoy the beauty of nature. (wink-wink) 

Psalm 19:1 says "The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of His hands".  That verse is so awesome! Creation truly does sing the Father's song and I know that I am blessed to be a part of His creation!

Colossians 1:16,17 - For by Him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by Him, and for Him:  And He is before all things, and by Him all things consist.

  

The Power of Words

Words are one of the most effective tools or weapons we have. Why? Because they hit us where we are most vulnerable. 
Our emotions.
 Words have always had a powerful effect on me. In good ways, and more at the forefront of my memory, bad ways. A few days ago I had some words said to me that fall into the "bad" category. The worst part of it was that the person was trying to make it seem like they were complimenting me or sharing these things because they are my friend. In the last few years, I have gone through a lot.  My health; the many emotions that go along with it; and making some difficult life decisions that affected people I care about. Whenever you make a decision that involves someone else, there will most likely always be criticism. Sometimes from those who do not know why the decision was made in the first place. Speculations are made and the next thing you know the opinion some people have of you is lowered. The person that I was talking to had a pre-assumed view of me. In the disguise of kindness, I was getting jab after jab. It's difficult for me to think that some people are putting me in a box and thinking they know me, when they don't. Especially, after I had fervently prayed and asked God to show me what to do; and knowing that my decision, while painful, was the one the Lord wanted me to make. To be attacked about it was a bit shocking and hurtful. What is hard to accept is that not everyone is going to be okay with me. Their are going to be people who think something is wrong with me or that I am not a very good person; and that's life. 

On the flip side, I am surrounded by family and friends who truly love and know me. Ever heard the quote "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."? Dr. Seuss really knew what he was talking about with that last part. I think it is so common for us to pay the most attention to the people who criticize us. Somehow, we put their opinions about us at the top of our list, when they should go to the bottom. Why would we put such stock in words that are the direct opposite of loving and kind? Unfortunately, a lot of the time I pay to much attention to them. Words go very deep with me. Plus, I never want to think someone might not like me. 

Words, spoken and heard, should be something that builds someone up and makes them feel encouraged. Not something that cuts and leaves scars. Sometimes, criticism can be a good thing. It makes you examine yourself to see if there is truth in what was said, and then you, with God's help, can try to change. But, there is a big difference between constructive criticism and intending to wound criticism. In this recent case, what was said to me was meant to hurt. I had to work through what was said to me, just like every other time it has happened. It took a lot of prayer and talks with my very wise mother to get me past it. It also helped that a couple days after it happened, I got to spend the afternoon with some good friends and even reconnected with some old ones! 

Because words have such a powerful impact on me, I try really hard to say all that Jesus would want me to speak. It doesn't always happen, but I'm working on it! One of the most important things I can remember is how I feel when something mean is said to me; and that I never want to make anyone else feel that way. I cannot control what others say, but I can control what comes out of my mouth; and I hope and pray that my words are encouraging. Wouldn't it be so much better if the things you want to be said to you... you're saying to the people around you? I sure think it would!       

Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. - Ephesians 4:29

Rachael's Small Glimpse Vlog: What is Celiac Disease?

    My first Vlog!